Unpopular Opinion:

‘You did the best you could with what you had at the time’ = ‘Bless your heart, baby you’re doing your best.’ A passive-aggressive, backhanded compliment.

Let’s break it down: You did the best you could with what you had *at the time*

We only ever have what we have at any given time. How can we, in good faith, ask someone to do anything with a tool they had previous and lost, or have yet to gain? It’ s a cruel, unnecessary qualifier, implying you would have done better with better tools. There is no scenario in which a person could not perform better with superior tools. So why are we addressing deficits that are universal? It would be more fair to say, ‘you did the best you could with what you had.’ 

But wait, there’s more.

You did your best *with what you had*. What else could you work with? I cannot do my best with what someone else has. I can’t use what my neighbor has, my boss has, or what my brother has. If I had what they had, it would be what I had. So if I do my best with what someone else has, it means they are using their tools. (Otherwise you’re using them and they are now your tools.) So to have done any better, someone else would have to have used their tools, and *they* would be doing *their* best with what *they* had. It is redundant and unnecessary to insert the phase ‘with what you had.’ 

We’re left with ‘you did your best.’

I think you know where I’m going with this. Your best is the best that can be done, since you can only do *your* best, and your neighbor and boss can only do *their* best. And since you were the one doing the doing, the only possible best could have been yours. 

Therefore we use the definite article ‘the’ to denote a thing that is predefined or common knowledge:

YOU DID THE BEST.

And leave it at that. If that wasn’t good enough for you, find someone else to do the doing. Hopefully they will do a different best. 

If that is not your intended message, then stop couching your communication in passive-aggressive, backhanded compliments and speak your mind clearly with tact and kindness.